Never Mind The Bollards!

Dear Gareth

Here at arealgoodhydeing we like to give a little back to you guys who help make it all possible. Just last week we received this letter asking for advice on all things job-related:

Hello Sir or Mrs,

I am Leo an ave just lost me job down on the site. It was alright and learnt loads ov new skills. However the ovva day I got laid off dint I gaffa said it was cos work was dryin up. Think hes a bit ov a bullshitter tho.

Anyways ave bin lookin for a job everywhere but not avein much look.

Can you help?

Safe

Leo M

Hey Leo! Have you checked out the Skills Centre?

No?

Earning and Learning? Everyone's Happy!

Panorama: The Great Care Home Scandal

X-Rated Xtravaganza XxSamXxXWallerxX

"Eh, make sure ye get me style and t'new forks n'all" 

 "Straight legs n little feet, pal. Tyre hardly gonna buzz is it?"

"Want me do an X-up icepick on't barrier, like?"

For Sale

For Sale: One Lambretta '67 with all the classic trimmings you'd expect from Stockport's original 'face'. Kept clean throughout and runs like a dream. Mix with combats, a sharp pair of dessies and The Who blaring down your earphones and you'll be in Brighton in no time.

P.S. No stupid offers and no tyre-kickers

Cheers, Clarky.

Keep The Faith

An Audience With...Mr Chips

 "I've heard he's pretty blue, Tony, right mucky 'umour. Best not bring Julie, eh?"

 "Great time had by all. A must see. Five Stars" - The Sport

 "Made me laugh so much I had another glass of water!" - Andy Clarke

Heroes welcome - fully deserved.

"Don't you find comedy is the ultimate aphrodisiac? Now let us dance, child."

HOW TO: Benches with Loz Taylor

This week we invited former-Federal BMX extraordinaire and part-time eco-warrior, Larry Taylor, to share a few tips on Bench Riding. Plastic, wood, metal, concrete or even a memorial bench, this guide will see you right.

"My favourite benches are plastic. They are just brill. I found this one at dinner whilst tucking into my mung bean and lentil wrap. Yummy."

 "Don't be scared to spend a long time practicing on those benches. My friends used to call it training when I did it but who got hooked up with Seventies and where are they now! Practice pays..."

"Don't let a bit of rain put you off! Again, the more you ride the better you get. I'm getting free bike stuff so it was definitely worth them wet sessions."

"Try not to be stiff landing tricks as this will lessen the impact of your style. Baggy clothes and big beanies are useful to disguise any stiffness. Failing that, try weed."

"Weed and speed is all I need!"

 "The money shot! And just remember to remember that practice makes better the more you perfect it."

 "Thanks for looking, guys. Be sure to check Vimby for my new edit Amazonian 'Andrails dropping in a few weeks. Now where's my flapjack....?"

WhErE kOoL kAtZ B kOoOol

The 100 Club, London?

  

Studio 54, New York?

The Hacienda, Manchester?

Nah mate, real Katz be all up on them ladies at Chic in Birmingham. Aaaaaah,  Freak Out!

Men Of The World (And a Kilt)

Starlight Express

What was it? Gone in a flash, a fleeting glance into another world...say you saw it too?

It couldn't be, could it? It would all make sense THEN!!!

IT IS!!! They have arrived people! Managing to blend yet stand out, speeding as if light yet freezing time for those close by, a perpetual, rolling paradox. 

 Secured mine and Rebecca's tickets already. Do whatever you can, beg, steal or borrow. This is your bucket-list!!!

P.S. I've heard Andrew Lloyd Webber is a bit mental, like, but has a massive dick. Just sayin.

Mancuuuuuunian Paaaaaaarteh!!!

Grab your trunks, de-steam them goggles and dust of them veruca socks, as we dive into the deep end of Manchester's piss-pool and sink a few cool ones with some of its more colourful characters.

"Eh up, its Liam Gallagher isn't it? Definitely Maybe can I have a photo with ye? Gary, hurry up and tek one will ye?"

 Mancunian urban street poet...great lad blah...knows 'is roots and blah done good blah...still time for us little guys blah blah..our Alan used to taxi him..blah blah...

"Just fuck off with the Liam/Noel/Oasis shit, can I have a photo shit. No you can't. FUCK OFF!!" 

"We are The Fall and we are from the First World." 

"Broke the bloody seal now ant I." 

 "I look at it as a service i'm offering to couples. The fact is that often a threesome can actually strengthen a couple's relationship. Might just knock around here for a bit and see if these two are pissed enough to say yes."

 The morning after the morning that was before the night of the morning after. 

eBay Seller Confessions

The wonderful and frightening world of the ebay...

Men's? Big mistake you say? No refunds, pal. Sorry.

Yeah...you're mental. 

No. You? 

Jonny Fat Knees.... 

You know what they say about men with wide 
feet...they struggle with narrow shoes. 

They might...but it's a handbag!